I'm Lovin it......?

 Drop off days sometimes feel like a business transaction of sorts.  Not to compare my child to a commodity...  at all.  I guess I am more referring to the cold exchange between her father and I.  Call me crazy, but I'd like to know a few of the high and low lights of her time with him.... it seems lately I am not even afforded some of the simplest communications like... she did... or didn't have dinner though most days she strolls through the door with McDonald's in her hand....(insert finger in throat and eyes rolling here) that's usually how I know wether she has consumed some gargage eaten dinner when she comes home on Sundays.  As a wannabe coparenter.... I often feel like the simplest of communications often go left unsaid.  It's such a roller coaster ride... I just never know how its going to go... This week's drop off was no exception... and I won't get my hopes up for today's drop off either....  I really miss that little girl when she's gone... absolutely everything about her.  I stopped calling her while she was with him because the last time I did it nearly broke my heart to get off the phone with her.... she sobbed constantly to come home and there wasn't a thing I could do to make her hurt stop.  I've since reminded her every time I drop her off that she can call me anytime she wants.  Her last reply was.. "okay mom, but I'll probablly be too busy doing fun stuff" which is fine with me.... I just put it out there....
On a good note... Lil M is coming home today.... though I will be at work when she arrives.... she'll be home for the entire week:) with a new drop off day on Friday (to go to her dad's)  which means from this week onward she'll be home 6 out of 7 days.  I must admit my initial reaction to the D-man's request for me to take her on Thursday night (formerly his night) made me a bit sad... that he could even conceive of giving up a millasecond with his child... because it's... well... clearly an inconvienience to have to get her up early and arrange for before/after school care...  but the other greedy mommy side of me was beyond grateful to have one more day with my girl....

Bittersweet ... Bittersweet I tell ya... tis the land of Divorced with children!