Wow. such a long time since I last posted.... I've missed this little place I come to rant and rave....
Life has been insane... Baby Brooke is growing at lightening speed... The nights have become my enemy filled full of heart burn... acid reflux... which I like to compare to the constant feeling of throwing up inside your throat.... and incontinence (sp?)... you know... where you pee sometimes involuntarily because something places so much pressure on your inner regions that you suddenly lose all control. I have come to fear sneezing or any sudden bouts of laughter.... Who says pregnancy is glamorous? IT IS NOT! I assure you..... But I am happy to report that this little girl will be here in less than one month and our family could not be happier. LiLM can't stop talking about her arrival.... We are blessed :) Did I mention I am now off work? And couldn't be happier... one full glorious year to stay at home with my girls... and paid... fully paid.. gawd I can't believe my luck :)
And on the custody sharing front... we are faced with the same old and some new hurdles which I can always do without... the holidays are never an exception.... But I am happy to say that with much care and consideration.... the blending in this household is going wonderfully....Don't get me wrong... there are bumps here and there....but there is something to say for not rushing into anything when it comes to introducing our precious little ones to our significant others. By no means do I think all situations are the same.... and each child is different... but if you know your child... then you know what they can or cannot handle. In our case... LiLM did NOT meet MrMan until we had been dating for well over a year and we knew we were IT for eachother..... I know things happen... and things fall apart... but we made that committment to oneanother. And then came more waiting... so that once we finally did move in together... just last spring... it was a happy and exciting time for LiLM... she had come to know... and most importantly LOVE Mr.Man... and I wouldn't have it any other way... and as a result... we are welcoming this new baby into our lives whole heartedly... I wish I could say the same for the Dman...
Let me just say... it's a whole different world over there.... LiLM has gone from spending thursday through Sunday... at her daddy's house and enjoying her time with him... to Friday and Saturday night... home Sunday through Friday fine with me in fact I'd like to have her all to myself but I know that she loves her daddy and having a relationship with him is important..... with the exception of her hating every second of it and calling me every day she is there and begging to come home..... She went from asking about when it would be time to see daddy.... looking forward to it... to begging me to get it knocked down to one night a week because in her eyes.... that would be more than enough... Sad right? It feels like we have gone backwards in time....
But I really can't say that I am surprised.... When a parent goes from doting on a child, providing no rules... or routine... no bedtime... just constant disneyland daddyness.... to meeting a woman with a child... and moving your child out of your home to another home in 2 short months... and suddenly imposing a brand new set of rules.... and expect your child (just recently turned 6 and having never shared said parent with anyone else)... to just fall into place like a good little soldier... is well... worthy of a DONKEY award!! And then to make matters worse... you again move your child from this 'new' home just one month later... back to the 'other' home she once shared with 'only' you... said parent... and force her to share her bedroom with a 10 yearold boy... who will now inhabit the bedroom (monday to friday) that was once filled with tinkerbell and all things girly... and then you stand there dumbfounded as to why she does NOT want to come to your house... oh wait it gets better.... all throughout this... you step aside and have this new woman lay out the rules for your child.... while you stand aside.... and can't seem to figure out why you are having problemsw with you child......and while I would love to be able to co parent with your unit.... and help you make this transition.... ... you disregard anything I suggest and in fact create more trauma for your child.... So now she feels like her place with you in this world has diminished..... and that she has been replaced by this 'new' family. I think what makes it even harder for me is that I can completely identify with what she is going through.... because I have been there myself....
Most recent quote that made me shake my head in saddness.... when you promised your child you would get a monitor for her room (her suggestion not mine) so you would hear her if she woke up crying from a bad dream since she is not allowed to enter yours and girlfriend's bedroom....(and to help her make yet another huge adjustment in her little life) a very small price to pay to help her through this.... you promised her this and instead of telling her you and your 'partner' decided you weren't going to be doing that because you don't "want her to call you every time she 'needs' you" Is just donkyish... Is it so horrible that your child 'needs' you....??? And to make matters even worse your significant other calls your child a 'baby' for making this request? Yet you assure me that if she has a bad dream you will in fact go and check on her... because you always hear her... (insert eye roll because I know that is a big fat crock of SHIT you sleep like a rock and NEVER once woke up to check on your crying baby much less child in our entire life together)...So when she calls me from your house the next day to tell me she is feeling sad because daddy did not come check on her when she had a bad dream when she called him.... yet instead the ten yearold boy in the bottom bunk comforted your child by yelling at her to SHUT UP! You are a fine man indeed......
PS... neither you nor your GF are allowed to tell my child she cannot call me... she can call me at one of the three numbers I have provided her and YOU with any time!
All of these things remind me why I am not with you.... my only regret is that I am not able to protect my child from your lack of parental common sense....
This vent is not over..... it plays again and again in my head along with the sound of my daughter's tears and please to please let her come home.....
PS.... did I mention the hormones of being 34 weeks pregnant are not helping this situation?????
ah such a great post.. you said all the things I want to say but dont.
ReplyDeleteLOL and I love the label "asshat"~